Friday, March 18, 2011

Luck of the Irish... If only for a day

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. The obvious solemnity of the holiest of holy days aside - which undoubtedly all Irish-Americans, Catholic or otherwise, recognize, and if you don't, shame on you - it was a pretty great day all around.

I delivered both children safely to school, completely dressed (even though they both adamantly refused to wear green, ignoring my pleas that they'll be tortured by peers with evil pinching and return to me purple with bruises, because, afterall, that was the way it was when I went to school. And dammit it ought ta be that way now. I digress...) and on time. This may seem inconsequential. However, the aftermath of the recent stripping of an hour from my closely-guarded time bank has unfortunately impacted my five-year old most, causing one official tardy and three very close calls. Tardies are serious business, I've come to learn, in Kindergarten. I'm told she'll be taken off the "Watch List" sometime during the Second Grade, assuming there are no additional infractions.

I reconciled with my aforementioned uber-cool big brother and his beautiful, equally as uber-cool wife and their deliciously adorable baby girl over a quiet lunch composed of 98% adult conversation (excepting the Austin Powers references), and was comfortingly absent of any ulcer-inducing drama or embarrassment. I also broke my no-alcohol Lenten fast and savored two delicious pints of a local micro brew. One for me. And one for my Irish homies. 

I returned my library books on time... all jacketed as immaculately as when I checked them out, with no torn pages, missing CDs, and all absent of any additional pre-school illustrations that were not original to the publication.

I did a fair amount of work, even listening in on the dreaded conference call.

Picked up my young scholars on time (but not before being publicly reprimanded by a PTO board member regarding my irresponsible use of the one-way exit to enter the school lot... thus my embarrassment quota for the day was met), and even had the patience and stamina to agree to letting them play on the playground a bit instead of immediately returning home, per the usual routine.

Successfully cooked up my first beer-braised Irish Stew and something those Green Islanders call a Colcannon. And unsuccessfully poured up my first Black and Tan, but successfully drank it down.

The nomad returned from far away lands. Weary though he was from traveling, he quietly cleaned the disaster I left in the kitchen (sadly, no pot of gold to be found for him upon completion) and deloused the mangy children. In so doing, I quietly allowed him full control of the remote, and an entire hour of the History Channel.

All in all, an incredibly luck-filled day.

I can only look forward to the next moderately-observed holiday on the calendar and wonder with anticipation what's in store...

April Fool's Day.

Well, crap.


  1. Old St. Paddy was smiling down on you, I'd say!!! What a perfect-sounding day for all the Allisons! I was wondering, was anything brought up at school about wearing green? P.S. I STILL like the way you write.

  2. The "Watch List" got me. I did the headphone chuckle.

    I don't know what I would do if I had children. And I think watching/reading about your life is the closest I'll get to knowing what it would be like for someone like me. Thank you.

  3. @guy. Thank YOU. And any time you'd like a first hand look, my children are available. We can set up a payment plan specific to your needs.


Here is your chance to participate in constructive criticism of my work.

(Read: Your ticket to openly bash the previous stream of consciousness you just wasted time reading.)